I'm back home!!! actually on Tuesday came back from hospital after staying there for 6 days (it's a living hell due to the heat)


Went for Back Spinal Surgery for the 2nd time, as some people ask or say : HUH?? what happen / this isn't the first one? haha I did rant about my back pain many time before before, but I will explain again.

It was in 2006 when I was enlisted to SAF, Singapore Army every Singaporean Males have to go through for 2 years. So after my studies, I early enlisted as I didn't want to waste my time doing nothing or wasting time (I'm not the kind who go out to play and party, but I like to hang with friends at lan shop playing games) most of the time I will just stay at home. i was lucky that it took around 6 months for everything before they confirm my unit and enlistment, I was PES A, went to Armor unit, I was MONO Intake (around 1 month earlier if I remember), people who fail or didn't take will be sent to MONO intake, to train up before the actual BMT (Basic Military Training) start.

During the first few weeks was fun I really enjoy and loving doing training and keeping fit. Until when BTM started I started having some blue black mark on my skin (on my lower back bone there) and I started to feel pain and uncomfortable, I did sound out, but still they always ask me to go Medical Center to Check up. To the point, the MO told me in my face that there is no problem with me and stop coming back, that was the time when I became stress with the pain and hyperventilation many many many times, It's like who can I ask and find, no one know and I'm not lying i dislike lying, I'm honest and I also like the training. Officer showed concern and talked to me many time, sometime I just broke down when talking to them. so after having this for awhile, the MO finally said that he will arrange a scan for my back in public hospital. so I was stupid and waited for it... I was really dumb to wait, usually SAF things will take very slow..

and so I endure and try to do my best, until I POP (Passing Out Parade) and posted out to K9 Dog unit. after a month in my course my old unit called me and told me that the letter to my X-ray scan was there and asked me go down to collect. so by the time I collected, 1 - 2 months have passed. and I completed my BMT. during that time, once i felt my disc move up and went down again, then i was afraid to move for awhile.

During my course time


Was really enjoying and liking my vocation in army, until my back got worse. which is few months later. also did went for MRI scan. they also told me that my Disc was started degenerating . I can't remember how long was it when my back really became worse and have seen doctor few times to decided for Operation if this carry on, Started seeing in late 2006 - 2007, I wanted to give in as during that time the pain can be quite pain already, but my dad did not want me to go also so I tell doctor we'll see how again hopefully it get better. so until when I started having numb to my legs when I sit down for awhile (around 5 mins), started feeling pins and needles down my legs, so endure until my next appt with my doctor and decided to go for the first surgery on Sept 2007 (if i remember correctly).

My doctor intro the flexible titanium metal it was quite new at that time, (now they don't bring this in anymore, mostly use in US area i think). so what it does, it will support the bone and joint still will be moving. and was hoping that it will get better after that. this doctor now not in the hospital anymore, I was told that he opened his private spinal clinic.

after the surgery, he told my Aunt that my bone chip off and pressing on my nerves so they have to cut out. i feel better for awhile but after awhile i felt normal back pain, nerves pain down to both of my leg pain get worse and was on pain killers until recently.

4 years ago when I went to study and started cosplaying, having problems when sitting too long, and once I tried cosplaying I got addicted to it, It's like I can be others and try to forget about my pain and enjoy myself, to the point when cosplay is everything in my life, It helps me to relax and I'm able to enjoy myself too, some time I didn't felt well but i try to forget about the pain and try to be in char and think only about the char, nothing eles. people can call me stupid or wasting my time cosplaying but it's really important to me. I swear if somehow I'm not able to cosplay anymore. I will become a very depress person and no will to live on, I know it's expensive hobby but It's helping me to cope up with the stress I'm facing and I am also Sick and Tired of saying too much or complain about my back, usually if your friend or someone keep complaining. starting things will be OK. But after awhile it will sound like excuses, whether about work, meet friends or go out. I have seen people like that before. but for now it's not important. my health is more important then others, I still have my dreams which I want to make it happen!!!!

you know even there are times when I have problem cosplaying, usually if I'm having pain I can't get any rest and take too much pain killers also there side effects.

so after my studies, I was resting at home again due to pain, but started more cosplay.

Last 2 year went to work, quit both job due to my back. to the point when I was breaking down and having problem sleeping, eating and stress. but late 2012 did work some part time. only when I can work then I go work. but not working now.

I forgot to mention, After the doctor left the hospital, my next few hospital appointment was really bad, every appointment different doctor. wasn't happy. I can't remember how but I did Complain until they change to the prof which I seeing now, also I did hesitate for awhile whether to go for 2nd surgery, to take out the flexible titanium metal and replace it with titanium metal rod, to seal up the movement of the disc. the first operation I had 4 metal, and now i have 6.

flexible titanium metal (first implant)


The nurse gave me the titanium metal after the surgery (first implant metal). ><~




Didn't have the metal rod scan now, Operation was done last week on Wed! and has to stay at hospital for 6 days.



so now will be talking about after my 2nd surgery until now. sorry that I type too much haha.



So after my surgery on wed (8 may 2013) I was worried.. but I have to do something also.. so was prepared for the surgery, but but but was not prepared for the pain...................................



when I was unconscious I didn't know what happen.. before I know I was already crying and keep complaining of super pain, I swear the pain is on another level. It was very bad. so they told me they have given me different pain killers but i don't feel any better and heard someone told the nurse make sure I don't hyperventilation they are trying to make me relax. The pain was really horrible. so when to the ward was already night time first 2 days, the pain and the wound area was &@%%!^(@^!*(@!@^!@^!&*, PAIN! when people hit my bed a bit It's really painful. and when the turn me around.. to see the wound I shouted and scream hahaha even the nurse keep saying her patient (me) is very fragile and will scream and shout if move him HAHA. but I swear the pain was really really bad, It's crazy, out of this world already.

so during my stay at hospital was fine for first few days, able to walk after 2 days, but walking at a super slow speed like a old man. was really bored during the weekend and the weather decided to be very hot, I can't stand it!! it was really crazy!! I feel the heat for 2 days and during at night also warm ><! really not easy to cope up with the heat........

sorry for me I'm scared of the hot prefer cold~ but I also didn't know that it will be so bad (warm /hot), I had headache due to the heat too, B1 ward was full so ... didn't have a choice

so my doctor came down and see how I am doing some other doctor also come and see and ask me question, so during that time it was horrible because it was pain and was trying to endure the pain, and mention about the numb in my right leg. so after the weekend I was looking forward to go home! but doctor talk about the numb in my leg and ask me to go for a CT scan and as he suspected, the screw are touching my nerves and causing me to have numb and pain in my right leg.. Need operate again but simple I think to loosen the screws only. due to the weather and I was already going crazy due to the heat I told my doctor wait awhile and see how will it be, if possible I don't want to operate again x.x

so my next appointment with him is 2 weeks later, If I'm going to operate again if i still feel the same and WILL book B1 ward class, will wait for the slot. Do not want to suffer in B2 ward again, the heat is really bad, at least to me it's very bad.

I'm still having problems walking but trying to go down take a walk and buy things once everyday.

The first day was bad, sun was already hot and I was walking at a slow speed, was already sweating a lot. went to buy food and went back home, I nearly fall on the way back, my leg decided to give me pain and my waist / hip also affected.
my right leg is weaker now. walk too much = more weaker and nerves pain.

on many medication now also for 2 weeks


Well but at least the nurse was good and nice, they even joke around with us, one nurse saw me and ask me you Korean? and how you keep your skin so fair doesn't look like Singaporean fair skin people? but I thought I got a bit Tan... haha time to invest on a UV ray umbrella, I will go look around for 1 ~


ah need stop here, have been writing and resting now my back feel pain and feel like breaking, Sorry for typing so much. but I hope this time round I will feel much better, need more rest too...

Sorry for the mistake if there is any I mean words hahaha. I'm typing and butt hurts so I want to faster go back to lie down haha

okay will be going to sleep now also very sleepy.. Good night!!!!

Thanks for Reading :3